She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I understand Curling. That high.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
