I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize