so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this beer tastes like vomit already
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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