It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
