OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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