Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
