I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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