woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
