I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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