Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
