I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
