took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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