just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize