Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
