Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
