Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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