seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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