I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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