After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
