So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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