dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize