i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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