I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
