And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize