Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
