if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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