when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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