dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
50% drunk capacity currently
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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