Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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