he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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