i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
