Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
