Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
