I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
