You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What changed your mind?
Being sober
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
