I wanna passion pit in your ass
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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