If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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