I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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