New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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