Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
