Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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