If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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