Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize