Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
