at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
