Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
