I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
