i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize