please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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