How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My dick has a subreddit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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