Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize