Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
