therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
