I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize