soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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