I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
