Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
