you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize