Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
