We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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