So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
