i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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