the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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