just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
