Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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