she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
