new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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