I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
