Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
