I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
