***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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