OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
