hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
